At The Gun Show Counter  (a comedy sketch in bad taste)

Anarchist Customer: “I’d like a 30 round magazine for my AR please.”

Conservative Vendor: “Wonderful! I have them on sale here at the gun show. Buy one get a free tactical flashlight. Would you like that in 5.56 or 7.62?”

Anarchist Customer: 7.62 please.

Liberal Spectator: “Excuse me, but what on earth do you need a 30 round magazine for?”

Conservative Vendor: “Look buddy, Mind your own business and stop harassing my customers!”

Anarchist Customer: “Are you  kidding me? Have you seen how many candidates are running this year?”

Liberal Spectator: “Hummm. Good point.”

Conservative Vendor: “Wait! What?!?”

Thanksgiving Cheer

To the tune of “We’re off to see the wizard”

We’re off to see the in-laws
And that always gives us pause
With all our beliefs, they are at odds
Because they’re such unbelievable clods!

So we’re going to buy the liquor
The wonderful beverage of gods
Because because because because because
Because of the wonderful numbing it does!

We’re off to see the in-laws
For all the bloody good that it does!